I AM SO IN CLOUD 9 *DREAMY*

good evening my friends! I am just so in cloud 9 last week and this week. There's this guy who seems like a very shy guy, very good looking, and is doing very well in his career. He is actually my best friend's brother in law to be. I often come over to his house in Puchong and also sometimes sleep over there and go out sometimes with his mother and sister. I have become very close to his family especially his mother. He is actually working for a Food and Beverage company and is based in Sabah. He is seldom at home here in Puchong but every time I stayed over he will definitely stay up just to have a conversation with me. Even though he has an early flight the next morning he would still stay up. Ain't that cute? He uses our Product Dyrell so I even have to make Dyrell for him. Hehehe. He is so manja and so cute.

Yesterday, he just came back from Shanghai for a business trip, he gave me a very nice bag as a gift. I was kinda surprised to get the bag. He gave his mom 2 chiffon dresses and gave us each a bag. This is how the bag looks like. I love it soo much.



He is leaving back to Sabah tomorrow, I am so gonna miss him but he's coming back on the 25th May 2011 for the wedding. can't wait to see him again.

More stories coming soon. So stay tuned ya'll!!

My LIFE My STORY....Where it Started: Just when I thought it was because of me....

My LIFE My STORY....Where it Started: Just when I thought it was because of me....: "Hello my friends, Just something to share. My previous blog, I talked about how my life with him started and how it ended. Well I just foun..."

Just when I thought it was because of me....

Hello my friends, Just something to share.

My previous blog, I talked about how my life with him started and how it ended. Well I just found out that the reasons that he has told me and that he has told my friends was all actually bullshit. That it was because of me being older than him, my attitudes that he doesn't like and etc, etc.....

Well my friends, there is a 3rd person. I just found out! A little bird told me! My gosh, after hearing that I am so glad that I am not with him anymore. He is just using that reason so that he could make it look as if it was all my mistakes, my wrong doings but in actual fact it's just to cover up the sh*t that he did behind my back. These kinda people are very dangerous. They are good at hiding their feelings, reactions, their betrayal, their cheating etc etc. You can't even notice that he is doing all those things. Now I know. It doesn't mean he loves you when he says he does, it doesn't mean he cares for you when he wants to accompany you to go somewhere in the middle of the night, it doesn't mean he wants to be with you when he is always with you, It doesn't mean he's not lying when even though you think he's not. He might be guys. I have gone through this and it's so pathetic. I feel so stupid that I didn't see this. I think because I was blinded by the love, caring and affections that I really thought that it was true and sincere!

Learned my lesson here. Someone told me that the girl wears a Hijjab, not that tall, not too thin and stays somewhere in KL area. I bid good luck to this girl, Although I think she is unlucky to be with him and to even think of having a relationship with this kinda person. Maybe one day he might just do it to you too! haven't you thought about that in the first place? What goes around comes around. Qada' and Qadar. You let him do it to me, and he will do it to you. Guys don't change just like that. Are you that naive? He got bored of me and is looking for his next victim. Can't you see that?

This is just me writing out of anger or maybe there is truth behind all this, but there is no such thing if you love that person you will leave them for their own good because you will find a way to make sure things work between the both of you even the biggest barrier can be overcome. You said that to me in your PM, but I don't believe you because I know you so well. We think alike remember?? Unless if it was because of another girl, that is a probability. You don't have the balls to admit it cause you don't want to blamed as the a-hole here right? You want people to think that you are the victim here and that you are being in a mentally abused relationship. That just ain't right. You say that to me in your PM that if it was because of the 3rd person I would have known by now. That is exactly my point, you are not that stupid to show or admit it now because you want people to think that you are innocent, but we shall see soon. We shall see the truth behind this act of yours. For how long are you going to do this? Do you think that it is good to do this? 

How many more hearts are going to be broken and shattered into pieces by you?  You are so good with words, even your charms make people fall for you. 

I just noticed something, there was this one time when you went to digital mall with your friend, that was actually her that you went to see right? When I was looking for you at digital mall, u said that you were at this floor but actually you're not because you were trying to get away from getting caught. When you picked up my phone call and couldn't call me the sweet name you always call me, you said you were with your brother, he helped to bring the stuff to KL. Wasn't him was it? You know that the only person you can't lie to is me right? I can see right through you. I even caught you lie about the person you were on the phone with. WTF. I had the feeling it wasn't your brother and I was right. 

The moral of the story is, do not underestimate a woman's intuition because it is usually 99.9% right and to all my friends don't just fall for someone so easily, get to know them well, check out their background and the most IMPORTANT thing is love yourself the most. Don't give love and trust to that someone 100% but just enough to not get hurt in the end. 

Thank you and hope you enjoyed this :)

My LIFE My STORY....Where it Started: I DON'T NEED A MAN TO MAKE ME HAPPY

My LIFE My STORY....Where it Started: I DON'T NEED A MAN TO MAKE ME HAPPY: "Ladies, in actual fact you don't really need a man to make you happy. when you are single you stay happy. nothing that you need to think abo..."

I DON'T NEED A MAN TO MAKE ME HAPPY

Ladies, in actual fact you don't really need a man to make you happy. when you are single you stay happy. nothing that you need to think about. you're free. you can do anything you want. do anything you like. you don't need to think on how to make them happy or to care for their heart. take care of your own heart and you will be fine.

I see you looking at me
Like I got something for you
And the way that you stare
Don't you dare
'Cause I'm not about to
Just give it on up to you
'Cause there are some things I won't do
And I'm not afraid to tell you
I don't ever want to leave you confused

The more you try
The less I bite
And I don't have to think it through
You know if I'm into you

I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around
Oh!

You know I got my own life
And I bought everything that's in it
So if you want to be with me
It ain't all about the bling you bringing
I want a love that's for real
And without that then no deal
And baby I don't need a hand
If it only wants to grab one thing

The more you try
The less I bite
And I don't have to think it through
You know if I'm feeling you

I don't need a man to make it happen

I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around

Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go

I don't need a
I don't need a man, I don't
I don't need a man
I'll get me through
'Cause I know I'm fine
I feel brand new

I don't need a
I don't need a man, I don't
I don't need a man
I'll make it through
'Cause I know I'm fine
Without you!

I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around
Oh!

I don't need a man (I'm over you)
I don't need a man (I'm over you)
I don't need a man
(I'm without you)
(I'm over you)

I don't need a man
I don't need a man
I don't need a man

My LIFE My STORY....Where it Started: NOBODY IS FU*CKIN PERFECT AIGHT!

My LIFE My STORY....Where it Started: NOBODY IS FU*CKIN PERFECT AIGHT!: "This is something I just want to share with you. Don't let anybody take you for granted and don't let them change you the way you are. You a..."

NOBODY IS FU*CKIN PERFECT AIGHT!

This is something I just want to share with you. Don't let anybody take you for granted and don't let them change you the way you are. You are already great and beautiful the way you are. Never think otherwise. When you try to change for someone else just to please them, you might regret it one day when they don't appreciate the sacrifices that you make. Ask yourself, would they make such sacrifices for you? Think again....think very hard about this. Here's  a music video by Pink that you might like. Enjoy.

Made a wrong turn, once or twice.
Dug my way out, blood and fire.
Bad decisions, that's alright.
Welcome to my silly life.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood.
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated.
Look, I'm still around.

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing,
You're fuckin' perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk about yourself; you were wrong.
Change the voices in your head; make them like you instead.
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game.
It's enough; I've done all I can think of.
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.

Woah ohh, pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing,
You're fuckin' perfect to me.

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear.
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere.
They dont like my jeans; they don't get my hair.
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time.
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty,pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me, yeahhh.
You're perfect, you're perfect
Ohh pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel, like you're nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me

"I DON'T WANT TO PLAY BROKEN-HEARTED GIRL" - LISTEN CAREFULLY

You're everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could have been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that 

You're the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I love to not forgive
And thought you break my heart
You're the only one 

And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can't erase the times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you it pains me to say
I know I'll be there at the end of the day 

I don't wanna be without you babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you babe
I don't want to play that part
I know that I love you but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kinda way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
And I don't want to play the broken-hearted girl no no
No broken-hearted girl
I'm no broken-hearted girl 

There's something that I feel I need to say
But up 'til now I've always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I wanna put this out
You say you got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you're not deserving of me
And still you're in my heart
But you're the only one 

And yes there are times when I hate you
But I don't complain
Cause I've been afraid that you would walk away
Oh but now I don't hate you I'm happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day 

I don't wanna be without you babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you baby
I don't want to play that part
I know that I love you but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kinda way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't want to play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl 

Now I'm at a place I thought I'd never be, ooh
I'm living in a world that's all about you and me, mmm yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid, my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away, away with you,
Yeah yeah yeah, oh ohh... 

I don't wanna be without my baby
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna to take a breath without my baby
I don't want to play that part
I know that I love you but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kinda way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't want to play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl, no, no
No broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl

My LIFE My STORY....Where it Started: My relationship with HIM, how it started and how i...

My LIFE My STORY....Where it Started: My relationship with HIM, how it started and how i...: "Assalammualaikum my friends. I just went through both good and a bad week. The good thing about the week is that we were interviewed by Hari..."

My relationship with him, how it started and how it ended....

Assalammualaikum my friends. I just went through both good and a bad week. The good thing about the week is that we were interviewed by Harian Metro and the story about our product will be out soon. The bad part about the week is my relationship with my ex-boyfriend is finally over. Here I'm gonna talk about my relationship with him.

Previously I was working for a Media Company in Kelana Jaya. I was the Event Manager there. I have always been a free spirited, happy go lucky, don't give a damn about what people say about me, don't give a damn about what I do to myself, where I go, what to where and etc..etc.. I just love to have fun, hangout with friends and go shopping. 

One fine day, The HR Manager told there will be this new intern coming in to work for one of the other subsidiaries company. He is doing IT. Wow that's nice. I looked at his bio, kinda cute and intelectual I guess and have been to school in the UK. I have always dig guys who speaks very well in English because I was also brought up in United States. He was 24 years old and I was 31 years old. 7 years age difference. But that could have worked right?

I think it was somewhere in August I think that he joined our group of family. He was tall, dark and kinda handsome. So the HR Manager introduced him to everybody including me. We shake hands and I was thinking (he kinda looks a bit funny though). I greeted him with welcome to the family. 

When he joined us, he looked kinda shy and anti social. Was it because he is shy or not friendly. He was close to one of the Admin lady and always hang out at the stairs to have a ciggy break with her. Then sometimes I would be around there also, but he was not really talking to me though. hahaha. Anyways, everyday I would say hi to him "hi Saiful!". Then he would say it back. Sometimes I would also invite him to watch a movie but he always rejected the offer. One day, he finally agreed to go out for the movie. We went just the five of us, we watched Death Race at that time. It was a great movie. After the movie we went to uptown to have supper. We talked, I was like paying more attention to him than I was paying attention to my friends. That's when I felt the chemistry. Later in our relationship he told me that was when he fell in love with me. He felt it too.

We started to talk on the phone, send sms to each other, go on YM. Then one day, I just totally ignored him. Is that bad? He was like asking people why is she like that? Why is she not talking to me? Well then a little bird told him why. It was because of what he said to me in one of our conversations, "you are out of my league". I didn't understand what that meant, but then he finally told me that it actually meant that I am far more better than him. I was relieved. I thought I wasn't.

We planned together a friends farewell dinner and that's when we became so much closer. During the first few weeks of the friendship, you only see the goodness and positive things about a person that you see pass the flaws. How great being in love is right? 

We continued talking on the phone everyday, played a game of who sleeps first. The person who sleeps first loses. We of course I always lose. He always comes up with the reason, I will totally win because I am still a student. Oh ok then. it one of our conversation, he has asked me, "can we be brothers and sisters?" Well of course I said "okay". Even though a bit frustrated, but I am still okay with that. I do like him, but I don't love him yet. Then after that, he said "You know what, I take that back, because maybe 1 day I might want you to be my girlfriend". I'm like, huh? okay then.

So then, we started going out, talking on the phone, SMS each other, hang out at the stairs for ciggy break. One day on 20th September 2008, he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. I totally said yes! The first few months on the relationship went well and all we see are just starts, beautiful things, flowers, lovey dovey. I even helped him to open his Facebook Account. IT people don't do social networking he says. Whatever!! Then he had to go back to his hometown because he finished his Bachelor Degree. It was a long distance relationship. We still managed. At that time I was still doing my own thing, having fun, hangout with friends and other stuff. He didn't really care what I do at that time.I do receive some disturbing sms from him though but let's not get into that right now. 

Somewhere in December 2009 I think, he told me he got an offer to do his Masters at UNITAR. At first he said he just wanted to stay at his hometown and help his dad out, but then he said he wanted to continue his studies bank in Kelana Jaya for an advancement in his education and also to be near me. Isn't that sweet? 

He moved back here and rented a room at Kelana Park View. We see each other practically everyday and go out everyday. We just miss each other all the time. Then these fights started. One of it was because of something I said that he couldn't accept. I really don't know why I brought it up. We were so in love and he still thinks I was out of his league. The next day, he had to go off for a holiday with his family (a mother's son). He left a notepad letter in my car. Can you believe that? What an loser. He didn't have the guts to say it to me in the face? He has no balls man! He sms me to look for the letter. Then I read it. he totally wanted to break up with me. WTF. What an asshole. I called him like 20 times I guess, as he was on a bus on the way to Kemaman. I was crying like crazy and he said he just couldn't do it with me. About the statement and also about me not wearing a scarf. So I let it cool for a while. he asks about me through our friends. Why does he need to know about me? He left right? Just go! 

Then he came back. I wanted to see him, told him to say it to my face. Explain to me. He said because of the age factor, his parents not liking me and me not wearing a scarf. We talked awhile at the pool, and then the mosquito bites started to bite so we took the car and drove around. We talked again, and at then we were back together again. 

After that, I said to him I would wear a scarf soon. I started wearing a scarf during fasting month of year 2009. I was happy with him and of course I want to make him happy to. I loved him so much that I was willing to sacrifice for him. Give and take right? Me and him we have a chemistry that no one else would have. We finish our sentences, we think the same, we even send sms to each other at the same time. That is what I call chemistry. Every time that happens we would go tinit tinit!!

So started out with not going to my favorite place in KL (HRC) and then wearing the scarf. Then gradually some of the attitudes that he doesn't like about me. I became a different person. I didn't care then, because I loved him, he is always there for me, he shows his love and care for me. What else would I want? Here is before and after picture of me.

Before

After

 At Time Square, we had a big fight. Of course it was about me again he says, my attitude just doesn't change. Especially because I just want to be with him 24 7 he says. he needs the time and space for himself and his friends. So then I said okey fine let's just go with the flow and see how it goes. Then we were okey.

some of the lovey dovey messages that he sends to me that made me feel I was betrayed

I gave him his space to study, to be with his friends. At the same time also, I started to hang out with my friends more. That went well. Less fights but more missing him and having more fun with him. Then to make this long story short on 28th April 2011. He sent me a message on Facebook saying that he was sorry to send this on FB and he wanted to break up with me. What the hell? We didn't fight, no nothing. I thought everything was going so well. In his message, he says there are still some of the attitudes in me that he still didn't like and also it was the age factor again. if you really wanted to leave say it in front of my face like long time ago. Don't just make someone think that everything is alright and they start to love you and trust you even more. Just do it earlier and whatever it is don't look back, don't cry with the her if you think you will not be able to do then. Just leave straight away. have the balls and guts to do that. 

He says there are some things he doesn't like about me and I still do it, does he think I'm an angel or something? That I am Fu*ckin Perfect? No flaws nor imperfection? WTF. Which planet are you on MAN? Nobody is perfect in this world. You also have your imperfections too you know and a lot of them, it's just that I don't tell you because I feel that when you love someone you will go past those imperfections and see that the person is Perfect! That is what you call love. Now we know, how dishonest he was in our relationship. Not being truthful as I was to him. 

This relationship with him was the most hurtful one of all my other relationship in the past. he showed his love and his care for me. You wouldn't really believe that we would break up like this right? Surprised? Yeah me too! It taught me a lot of things which is to never change yourself to a different person for someone and also know the person well enough to actually trust him and to get in a relationship with that person and also friends will definitely be there for you during your bad times because they care and love you so much. Thanks Widy, Dian, Joanne, Lyn, Linda, Suzana, Norlin, Ziela, and all my other friends who gave me advices and to move on with my life.

So NEXT!! HAHAHA xoxo ;)